about-me-image
I'm mum, messy, moody and manic. A worried writer, carefree cook. Retired flautist and teacher of beautiful young flute players. I buried myself in life and love, babies and busyness, until grief, exhaustion and broken dreams cracked me open like a newly hatched chick. So here I am, piecing my middle-aged butt back together while licking gunk off my fledgling wings and learning to fly again. Welcome to my world.
Simone Lisa: Telling Tales

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Tag: recovery

01Nov

Hypervigilance

Hypervigilance - it's been around forever, of that I have no doubt. But it's not a word I ever heard mentioned in all my many years of formal education. For a more thorough definition, have a look here, but whether or not it's something you personally have experience with, doesn't negate the fact there are a lot of people out there standing on guard, waiting for the next blow to fall. I'm one of those persons. It's a bit unfun. For me personally, it's not related to PTSD - I haven't been subjected to military combat or sexual assault, and for that I'm very grateful. But for one reason or another my nature and nurture cooked up a little concoction that makes me hypervigilant - all the time. What does that mean? It means I'm always on guard.
24Sep

The Long Road Home

It's the unfun bit of travel - going home. And after three months, it's the bit to look forward to - going home.
18Sep

Travels in Portugal

I arrived in Lisbon a mental mess. The two hour flight from Pisa airport, on our most budget airline, turned me into a blithering ball of batshit crazy. It was time to see a doctor before my oldest and dearest friends traded me in for a better model.
20Jul

Weighty Words

For me, "triggered" means feeling a compulsion to succumb to the disorder. As a bulimic, that means compensatory eating behaviours. Binging, purging, or both. Finding any means possible to compensate for having eaten. Finding any means possible to reduce the size of my body so clothes hang loosely and my bones become visible. Feeling triggered means a huge risk of relapsing.
23Jun

Made it

Through all sorts of therapies and chats with the wickedly wise and wonderful people who
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