Mum, moody, messy, manic. Retired musician and aspiring writer.
From dark, sordid, private journaling, this website became my greatest recovery asset for major depression and anxiety, and the eating disorder and self harm behaviours I used to mask them.
I imploded like a smashed egg, and from within I've found a fledgling bird, ready to spread its wings and fly.
I hope within these pages, you find a moment of connection, truth, revelation and understanding. This is my story. Perhaps it's yours too.
Ambleside and the entire Lakes District was just stunning. I cannot articulate how delightful it was. And how different to where we'd already been. We managed a quick dip in the lake where my husband enjoyed the fact I wrapped my arms around his neck so he could float around and enjoy a cuddle, while I didn't have to touch the slimy rocks beneath. Win win. We enjoyed a picnic on the side of the lake with the hot evening sun, and then two canadian geese came to share in our picnic.
For five years we've planned it - three months in Europe. I've yearned to travel since I was a little girl but finances made it impossible. On my 40th birthday I had my first overseas holiday - a week in Thailand with friends. Since then I've managed three more trips plus a very luxurious cruise. So this adventure is number six and it's a big one. Big because we can (money put aside from an inheritance) and big because we may never do it again.
Forty three days down. Nine to go. I am ready - but glad to have these last nine days to consolidate what I've learned, set up support at home, invent a new life for myself, and gain the confidence to know it's not only possible for me to recover - or even probable - but I have to believe I will recover.