Mum, moody, messy, manic. Retired musician and aspiring writer.
From dark, sordid, private journaling, this website became my greatest recovery asset for major depression and anxiety, and the eating disorder and self harm behaviours I used to mask them.
I imploded like a smashed egg, and from within I've found a fledgling bird, ready to spread its wings and fly.
I hope within these pages, you find a moment of connection, truth, revelation and understanding. This is my story. Perhaps it's yours too.
There are many people in my world who have wronged me. No more than anyone else - we all deal with irritating twats, ignorant loudmouths, and just plain rude arseholes. Forgiving the sins - big and small - of others, is a powerful tool that benefits the forgiver more than than the forgiven. At the end of the day, most irritating, ignorant, arseholes are probably blissfully unaware of their foot-in-mouth disease.
Meditation and mindfulness are the buzzwords of the decade. The practice of taking time out to check in with mind, body and spirit - to let go of the past and future for a few moments - is no longer limited to Buddhist monks, or yogis in search of spiritual nirvana. It's mainstream practice, taught to children in schools and discussed in workplaces, gyms, therapy, and the media.
Relapse. For those of us in recovery from one mental health issue or another, it's a filthy word. Who wants to relapse? There's a classic meme showing the difference between reality and expectations when it comes to mental health recovery - expectation is a nice straight line on a consistent upward trajectory. Reality looks like a ball of wool under siege from a horde of rabid kittens.