Words fail me

  I have a confession… I am feeling a teensy bit of pride. Pride is something I feel very uncomfortable with – it was considered a lowly, dishonourable trait by most of my family. But I’ve heard on the grapevine, feeling a sense of pride in yourself can be a good thing – just don’t […]

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Suicidality

Cheerful little topic huh?! But something I believe needs to be discussed in the wider community from time to time. So here I am – casting my two cents worth out into the world for all to ponder upon. Before I say more, a small disclaimer. I’m not a counselor or medical professional. I’m merely […]

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Lock me up

My psychologist (I love her to bits!) has suggested I consider a specialised Eating Disorder inpatient treatment program. I once again had a session where I talked about the tumultuous highs and lows of the past month – there were some lovely positives and some not so lovely sunken depths. Just a standard session really. […]

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Sad Sack of Sorry

I’m feeling a little sore, sad and sorry for myself. Sore, because I fell off a fit ball a few weeks back and undid all the good work from my previous cortisone injection into the facet joints of my lower vertebrae – so today I had a repeat injection. Fingers crossed it works just as […]

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Peace

1: a state of tranquility or quiet 2: freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions 3: harmony in personal relations 4: in a state of concord or tranquility Is that how peace feels for you? It sounds pretty good huh?! It is something I’ve rarely experienced for some time. I’ve been afraid to feel […]

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Whoops!

I ran out of medication last week. Turns out this was a bit of an oversight on my behalf, and not the most fun way to spend my week. I don’t mean I ran out of vitamin tablets either (although I ran out of them too), but rather I had to trudge through the week […]

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I wanna be this dog

Wanna know what my anxiety looks like? I had an unpleasant moment at work today, then later realised I’d spent the entire day on edge as a result of that one moment. For the whole day I was slightly teary, heart pounding, wanting to punish or numb myself, and counting the minutes until I could […]

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Discomfort

I must be do something right. I’m feeling very uncomfortable. And I’ve been reassured again and again, that change is uncomfortable, so I guess this is change. Whether it’s short or long term change, is yet to be determined. In the meantime – I’m feeling very uncomfortable. I haven’t been writing about my eating disorder […]

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Shame, Shame, Shame

Apparently I’m a shame magnet. Not sure if I struggle with shame because I’m super sensitive to humiliation, or if I’m super sensitive to humiliation because I struggle with shame. I am quite sure that absolutely nobody is comfortable with public humiliation. Are they? Anyone comfortable with humiliation must have a problem – in my […]

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Eternity

I’ve been watching a few TED talks lately – because I can 🙂 I watched one by the inimitable Sir Ken Robinson about passion, and a particular quote jumped out and grabbed me. If you’re doing something you love, an hour feels like five minutes. If you’re doing something that doesn’t resonate with your spirit, […]

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Bittersweet Spot

I’ve been absent. Did you notice? I noticed. When I don’t write I feel lost. And when I feel lost, I don’t write. As part of my ACT course, I recently did the “sweetspot” exercise. It was very confronting. I’m not sure Russ anticipated that exercise would be as confronting as it was – some […]

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Feed me

Every morsel of food passing my lips is feeding something. This is a universal truth. I am not special. Physical Hunger We all have physical hunger and we all need to feed it. The body needs nourishment in order to function. Feed it badly, it will treat you badly. Feed it well and you’re on […]

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