Dear Vanessa, My beautiful darling sister – I miss you and I love you. I hear you and remember you every time I hear your favourite songs
Always reaching out for freedom. Always chained. Trapped. My hands are tied and as lost as my soul is.
It seems like I'm always someone else - or pieces of other people put together. Somehow it's always easier to be someone else.
I have wanted death I have cried for it I have sought the final oblivion of death for as long as I am able to remember. Yet, I am here, I am alive and I can not help but wonder why? Why did the rope not strangle me, or the pills stop my heart? Why when the trigger was pulled, the gun did not spark? Why, when my blood was flowing, did my pulse still beat? Why when the voices yelled death and murder was I not defeated?
This morning I woke to the news one of our founding members, mother to the firstborn of the August 1996 babies (arriving early, in June 1996) passed away suddenly and unexpectedly.