Just like you, I have a voice of wisdom, reason, logic, common sense, knowing, intuition, God - whatever resonates with your personal belief system - but for the vast majority of my life, there is another frequency butting in and drowning out the word I want (and need) to hear. Sometimes the noise of the unwanted station drowns the other out completely - I know it's there, but it can't be heard. Sometimes the station appears clear as crystal. Then it goes again.
When the burden of being a burden becomes so burdensome the burden can no longer be bourne, it's crunch time. Disappear into Wonderland with the big white rabbit, going permanently mad? Or just go - permanently? Or do what needs to be done and reach out? Clearly the latter is the healthier option.
I live in a state of being permanently temporary. I guess we all do to some extent... But since ceasing paid employment at the end of 2017, my routine has been - to put it mildly - flexible. I like it this way. It's very bad for me.
I identify really strongly as "the girl with the eating disorder". I need a better identity in order to move past this one... I get asked from time to time what to "do" to help or support me. I'm usually flummoxed by this question. I have no idea how to help myself - how can I provide information I don't know?!
A coded question, that in some circumstances, is a call for help. When struggling with some variety of mental health problems, it's often reinforced by support circles of professionals, friends and family, that reaching out and talking - to real live people - is very important. That defusing the stress, catastrophising, urge to do something [...]