Suicidality

Cheerful little topic huh?! But something I believe needs to be discussed in the wider community from time to time. So here I am – casting my two cents worth out into the world for all to ponder upon. Before I say more, a small disclaimer. I’m not a counselor or medical professional. I’m merely […]

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Sad Sack of Sorry

I’m feeling a little sore, sad and sorry for myself. Sore, because I fell off a fit ball a few weeks back and undid all the good work from my previous cortisone injection into the facet joints of my lower vertebrae – so today I had a repeat injection. Fingers crossed it works just as […]

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Peace

1: a state of tranquility or quiet 2: freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions 3: harmony in personal relations 4: in a state of concord or tranquility Is that how peace feels for you? It sounds pretty good huh?! It is something I’ve rarely experienced for some time. I’ve been afraid to feel […]

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Whoops!

I ran out of medication last week. Turns out this was a bit of an oversight on my behalf, and not the most fun way to spend my week. I don’t mean I ran out of vitamin tablets either (although I ran out of them too), but rather I had to trudge through the week […]

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Discomfort

I must be do something right. I’m feeling very uncomfortable. And I’ve been reassured again and again, that change is uncomfortable, so I guess this is change. Whether it’s short or long term change, is yet to be determined. In the meantime – I’m feeling very uncomfortable. I haven’t been writing about my eating disorder […]

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Not broken. Stuck

I’ve started a course in Acceptance & Commitment Therapy, and while I’m very early in the process (half way through week one 😀 ) I have already found a lovely little snippet that really resonated with me. And I mean REALLY resonated! I’m not broken. I’m stuck. How simple is that?! After completely falling apart, […]

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Where to now?

Lost my mojo. I’m playing Candy Crush all the time. This is a bad sign. It means I’m numbing myself in a slightly less destructive manner than my other numbing habits. I actually feel fine – not down and dreary or any of those sad things. I’m just trying to figure out, what next? I’ve […]

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Illusions & Illuminations

I was so moved by Sinéad O’Connor’s heartfelt cry for help a few weeks ago. And very glad to hear she’s doing better.  I listened to Russell Brand’s response and as always, was really touched by how much wisdom and empathy he demonstrates for mental health issues. One comment in particular was very illuminating, Really […]

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Now I lay me down to sleep…

This little girl is on the wall next to my bed. My Nanna made it when I was little. I love it. For years it was tucked away in the back of a cupboard, the copper dark and green, the gloss disappearing from the embossed nightgown. A couple of years ago it magically appeared in […]

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And the black dog slept

The days were cold, And the skies were grey. The bare branches swaying in the swift brisk wind. Still, the black dog slept. The mirror reflects, The passing of days. And a breast yearning more, for babes long grown. And still, the black dog slept. One bright blue morn, As the sun rose high. No […]

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I’m a peculiar little person

A friend asked today, How are you? Now this friend is not someone I bother saying, I’m fine to, because she knows better than to listen to that bullshit. Our journeys have crossed paths on more than one occasion and she gets it. But I didn’t really know what to say, because I kind of AM fine. But […]

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What did you say?!

Some people are born with a silver spoon in their mouth – so I’ve heard. Me? I was born with a chubby foot in my mouth. And it seems I’m a slow learner. The reason I journal and blog, and became increasingly shy, quiet and retiring over the decades, is I really suck at the […]

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