Feeding Time

It’s easy to know when your body needs food – physical cues are given out. We all know what they are (even when some of use choose to ignore those cues), and we know drinking a glass of water doesn’t make them go away. So feeding physical hunger is easy. As my writing mentor said […]

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Accountability

I don’t have anything interesting or noteworthy to say today, but in the interests of my ongoing recovery, I am making a public accountability statement. I ate more food than I was comfortable with today. I ate different food and at different times to my prescribed meal plan times. I feel uncomfortably full. Probably an […]

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Letters to me

Today’s psychology task – write two letters. One from my body to me. One from me to my body. Here goes: Dear Simone, Thank you for taking the opportunity to read this letter. I appreciate it is going to be confronting but unfortunately there are times when we need to hear a difficult truth – […]

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Week four

DAY 22 Today I am afraid of recovery. I’ve been in this place before – where I’ve felt the beginnings of change and then become overwhelmed with the fear of that change and what it might herald. so I rush back to the safe and familiar.  I ate all my meals today but struggled (mentally) a […]

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Week Three

Day 15 I feel as though I need to start writing about all the amazing progress I’m making and how awesome I feel and how I’ve turned a corner and the future is looking rosy. But it would all be a big fat lie. Nobody wants to hear about how miserable I feel and the […]

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Week Two

Day Eight Same old, same old. Neither better nor worse. I feel my depression has sunk pretty low and I spent a lot of today mapping out “exit” strategies. But I also communicated this with the registrar and have requested to have my dose of pristiq increased. She’s also modified my leave to “escorted” which […]

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Week One

A friend of mine has encouraged me to share my private journals of inpatient. I hope it’s not triggering for anyone. It’s deeply personal. And I’ve made every effort to remove identifying information of the clinic, staff and patients. It’s a long read! But this is what life is like. PRE-ADMISSION Today is Thursday. In […]

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Day 12

It’s a wild ride as an inpatient at a psychiatric facility. I can’t honestly say I’d recommend it. But then sometimes we have to do necessary things in life that aren’t necessarily enjoyable. I didn’t traipse all the way here for fun. I left behind all that was comfortable and familiar, to learn uncomfortable, unfamiliar […]

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Day Three

I made it to the clinic and apparently I’m settling in. Well – lots of people ask me every day how I’m settling in. What do you say to that? I’m here and I’m following the rules. I’d rather be at home cleaning my toilets but I’m not. So here we are. My world has […]

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And it’s time…

In 12 hours, I’m heading off to the clinic. I think I know what to expect, but I also know I have no idea. Does that sound confusing? Of course it does. Life is confusing. Whatever preconceptions and expectations I’ve managed to construct for myself over the past few weeks, tomorrow will be the day […]

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Visionary

I wasn’t going to blog tonight, but I’m feeling just a teensy bit chirpy and chuffed so I thought I would share. I am a master procrastinator. Yes. It’s true. When I want to do something, or necessity dictates I have to get off my butt right now, I’m an amazing gogetter. But when I’m […]

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Dream Writing

Today I did some dream writing. It was a technique I learned through Joanne when I did her Seven Day Challenge. I was super teary and tired when I started the day today. It’s been a bit of a rough road but you know – that’s life. These things happen. It’ll be fine. I knew I […]

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