After the bright lights and busy streets of Paris, it was time to venture into the Italian countryside and a gorgeous little villa just outside Lucca – a medieval town … Continue reading Travels in Tuscany
Fatigue is an unfortunate and debilitating side effect for a lot of mental (and physical) health conditions. This is how fatigue has felt in my life.
Have I got your attention now? [Apologies to my offspring. If you don’t want to suffer through details of your parents’ sex lives, probably best you stop reading now.] Orgasm … Continue reading Orgasm
It’s easy to know when your body needs food – physical cues are given out. We all know what they are (even when some of use choose to ignore those … Continue reading Feeding Time
I must be do something right. I’m feeling very uncomfortable. And I’ve been reassured again and again, that change is uncomfortable, so I guess this is change. Whether it’s short … Continue reading Discomfort
Every morsel of food passing my lips is feeding something. This is a universal truth. I am not special. Physical Hunger We all have physical hunger and we all need … Continue reading Feed me
My fatigue is back. It went away for a while. I didn’t miss it. Good riddance, I thought. Then it came back. For fuck’s sake, I thought… Now I can barely struggle … Continue reading Finding strength for recovery through fatigue
I may not be a dog person, but I am acutely aware of the joy, love and hope a beloved pet can bring. During the worst of my depression last year, … Continue reading For the love of a cat…
Today I want to sleep.
I want to go to sleep and never wake up. To luxuriate in the endless bliss of nothingness. I want to be free from physical pain. Free from exhaustion. I don’t want to feel worried or anxious or guilty or afraid. I don’t want to be fat and old and lost and weary. I just want to rest. To slip into eternal, blissful rest.
My psychologist talked about recovery, and I said (amongst other things), what’s in it for me? Which sounds appallingly self-interested – because it is! But it is the crux of my recovery issue. Everything I do in my life, is for other people – even my recovery. And without having intrinsic reasons to travel this rocky road, it is nigh on impossible to keep trudging along.