I fell in a hole. Then I crawled back out. It’s 35 days since I touched down on terra firma. Jet lag’s done and dusted, the big adventure receding into … Continue reading Down down down… then up we go
Fatigue is an unfortunate and debilitating side effect for a lot of mental (and physical) health conditions. This is how fatigue has felt in my life.
The long road home started Tuesday afternoon in Portugal and finished Friday evening in Hobart. It’s the unfun bit of travel – going home. And after three months, it’s the … Continue reading The long road home
After the bright lights and busy streets of Paris, it was time to venture into the Italian countryside and a gorgeous little villa just outside Lucca – a medieval town … Continue reading Travels in Tuscany
Have I got your attention now? [Apologies to my offspring. If you don’t want to suffer through details of your parents’ sex lives, probably best you stop reading now.] Orgasm … Continue reading Orgasm
It’s easy to know when your body needs food – physical cues are given out. We all know what they are (even when some of use choose to ignore those … Continue reading Feeding Time
I must be do something right. I’m feeling very uncomfortable. And I’ve been reassured again and again, that change is uncomfortable, so I guess this is change. Whether it’s short … Continue reading Discomfort
Every morsel of food passing my lips is feeding something. This is a universal truth. I am not special. Physical Hunger We all have physical hunger and we all need … Continue reading Feed me
My fatigue is back. It went away for a while. I didn’t miss it. Good riddance, I thought. Then it came back. For fuck’s sake, I thought… Now I can barely struggle … Continue reading Finding strength for recovery through fatigue
I may not be a dog person, but I am acutely aware of the joy, love and hope a beloved pet can bring. During the worst of my depression last year, … Continue reading For the love of a cat…
Today I want to sleep.
I want to go to sleep and never wake up. To luxuriate in the endless bliss of nothingness. I want to be free from physical pain. Free from exhaustion. I don’t want to feel worried or anxious or guilty or afraid. I don’t want to be fat and old and lost and weary. I just want to rest. To slip into eternal, blissful rest.
My psychologist talked about recovery, and I said (amongst other things), what’s in it for me? Which sounds appallingly self-interested – because it is! But it is the crux of my recovery issue. Everything I do in my life, is for other people – even my recovery. And without having intrinsic reasons to travel this rocky road, it is nigh on impossible to keep trudging along.