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I'm mum, messy, moody and manic. A worried writer, carefree cook. Retired flautist and teacher of beautiful young flute players. I buried myself in life and love, babies and busyness, until grief, exhaustion and broken dreams cracked me open like a newly hatched chick. So here I am, piecing my middle-aged butt back together while licking gunk off my fledgling wings and learning to fly again. Welcome to my world.
Simone Lisa: Telling Tales

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Fatigue

09Feb

Weary

Today I want to sleep. I want to go to sleep and never wake up. To luxuriate in the endless bliss of nothingness. I want to be free from physical pain. Free from exhaustion. I don’t want to feel worried or anxious or guilty or afraid. I don’t want to be fat and old and lost and weary. I just want to rest. To slip into eternal, blissful rest.
01Feb

Reasons

My psychologist talked about recovery, and I said (amongst other things), what’s in it for me? Which sounds appallingly self-interested – because it is! But it is the crux of my recovery issue. Everything I do in my life, is for other people – even my recovery. And without having intrinsic reasons to travel this rocky road, it is nigh on impossible to keep trudging along.
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