My fatigue is back. It went away for a while. I didn’t miss it. Good riddance, I thought. Then it came back. For fuck’s sake, I thought… Now I can barely struggle out of bed to go to the bathroom. I still have to do all the things everyone else does – get dressed, go to work,… Read More
I may not be a dog person, but I am acutely aware of the joy, love and hope a beloved pet can bring. During the worst of my depression last year, I had nothing left to give. I had no energy, no will, desire or hope. I couldn’t care for, support or offer a listening ear… Read More
Today I want to sleep.
I want to go to sleep and never wake up. To luxuriate in the endless bliss of nothingness. I want to be free from physical pain. Free from exhaustion. I don’t want to feel worried or anxious or guilty or afraid. I don’t want to be fat and old and lost and weary. I just want to rest. To slip into eternal, blissful rest. Read More
My psychologist talked about recovery, and I said (amongst other things), what’s in it for me? Which sounds appallingly self-interested – because it is! But it is the crux of my recovery issue. Everything I do in my life, is for other people – even my recovery. And without having intrinsic reasons to travel this rocky road, it is nigh on impossible to keep trudging along. Read More