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About Me

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Mum, moody, messy, manic. Retired musician and aspiring writer. From dark, sordid, private journaling, this website became my greatest recovery asset for major depression and anxiety, and the eating disorder and self harm behaviours I used to mask them. I imploded like a smashed egg, and from within I've found a fledgling bird, ready to spread its wings and fly. I hope within these pages, you find a moment of connection, truth, revelation and understanding. This is my story. Perhaps it's yours too.
Simone Lisa: Telling Tales

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03Feb

The Eating Disorder Voice

People with eating disorders often talk about the eating disorder voice that natters away, telling us what to do. Or not. Undermining recovery. Making us doubt ourselves. But I wonder what that means to someone without an eating disorder voice? Or even what it means to other eating disordered people - I doubt we're all the same.
30Jan

Entrapped Freedom

Always reaching out for freedom. Always chained. Trapped. My hands are tied and as lost as my soul is.
26Jan

Everything but myself

It seems like I'm always someone else - or pieces of other people put together. Somehow it's always easier to be someone else.
24Jan

To Live or Not to Live?

I have wanted death I have cried for it I have sought the final oblivion of death for as long as I am able to remember. Yet, I am here, I am alive and I can not help but wonder why? Why did the rope not strangle me, or the pills stop my heart? Why when the trigger was pulled, the gun did not spark? Why, when my blood was flowing, did my pulse still beat? Why when the voices yelled death and murder was I not defeated?
22Jan

When It’s Just Too Much

When everything hurts. When everything is just to much. I hold my head and I hide. If I can not see the demons, maybe they can not see me?