Eternity

I’ve been watching a few TED talks lately – because I can 🙂 I watched one by the inimitable Sir Ken Robinson about passion, and a particular quote jumped out and grabbed me.

If you’re doing something you love, an hour feels like five minutes. If you’re doing something that doesn’t resonate with your spirit, five minutes feels like an hour

How true is that? It’s not really rocket science – we all know how painful and tedious it is to sit through something you hate. And the sweetest moments in life most definitely fly by at a rate of knots. But it was a lovely reminder to me that if I don’t figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life, it’s going to go on for an eternity.

The sweetest moments of my life are history. I know that. I accept that. The sweetest moments of everyone’s lives – so far – are also history. What I really need to figure out now, is how to create new moments.

It’s easy to find the temporary joy and excitement of leisure and travel and entertainment. Those things are all lovely, but they don’t define a life. I am not in a financial position to become a lady of leisure, sailing the seven seas and doing as I please. And even if I were? I wouldn’t want to. I have a need to be purposeful and to serve and to care. I do those things because I choose to. I just don’t currently have tremendously exciting purposeful things to do. Don’t get me wrong – I can fill my time. And I do. I have things to do. Lots of things. I don’t do half of them because I don’t make the time, but if they were important enough I’d do it.

My house looks like a derelict wino is in charge of the cleaning.

My great foray into writing ceased the day I finished my online course.

I procrastinate like a pro with my psychological therapy courses.

I’ve even recently been offered the opportunity to do some paid copy editing work and I’m struggling to get excited about it. I will definitely do the work – perhaps I’ll be excited tomorrow.

So my question – completely rhetorical question – is how do I find that one golden ticket, that will lead me to finding the thing I love? Not the things I loved – I can’t go back – but new things to love. Not toys and trinkets. Not people and places. But purpose and fulfillment.

I don’t know the answer, but I do know I need to keep looking. To keep doing what I do. To keeping meeting people – those I know, and those I’ve yet to meet. I need to try things old and new.

The recent copy editing gig I’ve picked up, came about through a series of unexpected and unrelated incidents. I’ve been assisting a friend run a women’s retreat, and as part of that retreat we put together gift bags for the participants, and in those gift bags we wanted some handmade chocolates, so I visited my local chocolatier, and while there was asked to assist his Italian friend with a letter, and when I returned to collect the chocolates the chocolatier asked if he could pass his number on to his friend who designs websites, and now his friend is employing me to do copy editing for the websites he designs as English is not his first language. So now I have a copy editing gig because I asked my chocolatier for free chocolates (and jolly good chocolates they are too).

So my point is, by continuing to engage in the opportunities that cross my path, I hope to one day find the very thing that will make time fly. Because if there’s one thing my deepening wrinkles and saggy knees have taught me, it’s that if I stay inward focused and stop looking for new opportunities, I will have a lot of time, and I won’t enjoy a minute of it. But if I keep on keeping on, picking myself up each time I fall, and accepting every little opportunity that comes my way, then one day, my new sweet moments will start to appear. I don’t want to miss those moments.

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